The Internet Is Awesome

Posted by Lord Hart on 30th January, 2008

The internet sure is awesome. When you have been actively surfing the net for a number of years, a lot of things start to seem similar and you get the feeling that you've seen all that you have been able to see.

Then. You see this.

What is that? That is a group of people painted up like smurfs... fucking. In spanish...

We should all bow down and praise Al Gore for creating the internet, for ...
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Ooooh Yeah! Bow Down To My Cock!

Posted by Lord Hart on 14th January, 2008

Me and my girlfriend went in for the ultra-sound today. Everything is all fine and the babies are healthy.

What's that? Oh yeah, that's what I said... babies! I have made twins with nothing but my penis. I am a god, and thou shall all bow down to the cock! One baby alone, and I was feeling pretty masculine, but now i'm in freaking testosterone overload. I'm feeling so high right now that I might as well be walking about on the freaking moon.

Snap!

Posted by Lord Hart on 6th January, 2008

Holy crap has Britney Spears life turned to crap in a matter of two years. I've wanted to write up something about how she has been turning into a raving lunatic, but haven't been really enthused enough to do so.

Now, I read that she's been involved in a police siege on her house, where she held her kids, after she had just been released from the hospital for swallowing shit loads of prescription pills, and in a place with two guns.

Overall, mixed with Britney's insanity, the ineptness by people involved in her life and the whole custody battle for the kids is becoming laughingly more stupid by the day. Come on... she hasn't appeared in her court-appointed date for the custody battle something like 4-5 times now. Just take the fucking kids off her permanently.

Want to solve her being a drug-addled moron? Solve it with a bullet in the head. Put EVERYONE out of their misery. The only reason not to is to watch her spiral out of control a bit more, befo she eventually does it herself.

Truly priceless.

A New Year And Alot Of Stuff

Posted by on 2nd January, 2008

Well, I haven't been around the last few weeks to post anything. I mean, I have been here at home, and I have been on the net, but I just haven't been on the site to write out a front page post, or do anything of any value essentially.

The reason for that is that just before Christmas, me and my girlfriend found out that we're going to be having a baby. Good to know that the tubes are clean and the torpedoes are shooting all well and good, eh?

I really have to admit, that when I first found out, I was positively freaked out. Since then, i've been getting excited about it, and am relishing the chance to be a dad... and am relishing the chance to fill the child's head with vast amounts of useless movie trivia, so it will be the ultimate version of me! Muwahahaha!

Imagine me and my ability to bring up some trivial little fact about things that have no importance... coming out of a small child. And then having the child drink vast amounts of Bundy rum, all whilst shouting witty remarks! Oh my god! Why didn't I do this earlier! I could win trivia all the time... using it's developing brain to store ALL KNOWLEDGE!!!

Right, setting that aside... i'm going to be doing little bits on the site over the next few days, and also a bit on the admin system thing i'm making, which will hopefully be almost fully complete soon. Well, the first release, anyway. On the topic of the site, I will also be adding a new article, and it'll be dealing with Mat Dickie and his ability to be extremely arrogant. I've written about it before for a front page update, but man... I just totally need to write out a full article about the guy.

Oh, by the way, check out the hat I had for New Years...

This Kid Is Annoying

Posted by Lord Hart on 15th December, 2007

Since the start of the show 'Heroes', I've found that the most annoying character on the show is the child prodigy... Micah Sanders. The character is annoying and the kid who plays him is even more annoying, especially if you realise that the kid is the same one who was on 'My Wife & Kids'.

I admit it, I watch the show sometimes when it is on TV. Damon Wayans is the only thing that kept that show afloat. In one of the later seasons, they added a little boy character that was a ...
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Accept It

Posted by Lord Hart on 3rd December, 2007

When it comes to movies about college, you have the good and the bad. The good are movies like Animal House, PCU and Old School, whilst the bad... well, they're just not worth mentioning.

I just finished watching 'Accepted', which I must admit, when it first started I wasn't completely liking. The acting seemed a bit forced at the start, but i'll be damned if this doesn't end up being one of the best college ...
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The Evil One Has Died

Posted by Lord Hart on 30th November, 2007

I just came across the sad news that Evel Knievel, the greatest stuntman that has ever graced a rocket-cycle has died at the age of 69 because of illness.

To think that a man who has had so many spectacularly bad crashes in his stunt career, such as when he crashed after trying to go over Snake River Canyon in a rocket (even after TWO failed tests!), that he would die from a simple thing like old age or disease.

I've always liked Evel Knievel, mainly for the fact that the man was bat-shit crazy about his jumps and everything. For one, he never used a bike or anything that was purposely built for jumping unlike his son Robbie, he just used pretty much whatever would look cool in a jump. Why else would somebody attempt jumps in a fucking "Rocket Cycle"?

I feel bad for the Evil One though, as he never did get to do the jump he always wanted to... the grand canyon jump. How could you not allow the greatest stuntman ever to not jump over a big hole in the ground, but allow his freaking less-cool son do it. Lame.

Farewell Mr. Knievel... farewell.

Flock Of Seagulls Says I'm A 'Faggot'

Posted by Lord Hart on 23rd November, 2007

Went out tonight. Probably the first time since my brothers birthday and the fight that we got involved in that I had actually gone out on a friday night. A strange occurrence happened after a reasonably good night all up that is the reason behind this rather long rant.

A dickhead from months ago came over to Krut, going on saying "I heard you want to fight me for the fight you had with my mate" (which is the same dickhead me and my brother got into a fight with). Krut took it in stride and managed to disarm the situation with his smooth talking, and got by with telling the guy that he is a dickhead, whilst managing not to get into a fight.

Whilst this is happening, some guy, one of the assholes mates, in a red and black checkered hoodie, with blonde hair that had a streak of blue in it that was styled in a "Flock Of Seagulls" haircut constantly pointed at me and a few others saying we're 'faggots'. He ended up staring at me until he looked away after I didn't take my eyes off him. Hell, if I can stare at a fucking video camera for 4 minutes without blinking, I think I can beat some moron in a "i'm a tough cunt" staring competition.

Didn't stop him from still calling me a 'faggot'. Who is more of a 'faggot'? Me, who has his girlfriend standing about two metres away from him whilst they're saying this... or a "Flock of Seagulls" reject who is hanging out with a bunch of guys with similar haircuts, bad fashion sense and brightly coloured clothes, who're trying to act tough to make up for the fact that they enjoy raping each other in the ass?

Note: The reason why the word 'faggot' is put in quotes throughout the whole post is mainly because I find that term offensive, and don't want to have this post make it seem like I endorse the use of the word. I don't give a fuck about anyone's sexual orientation (evidenced by the fact that I have a few gay friends) just as long as they don't try to involve me in it or whatever, and just wanted to use the word to highlight the stupidity of these idiots. I've copped shit because i'm half-aboriginal/half-white, and I know how much bullshit some minorities get. It's like the term 'nigger'.

As far as I can see, if you WANT to use the vulgar terminology, do it the way that Chris Rock uses it (slightly paraphrased):

"Everything white people don't like about black people, black people don't like about black people. It's like our own personal civil war. On one side, there's black people. On the other, you've got niggers. Niggers are the people who fuck shit up for EVERYBODY. The niggers have got to go. I love black people but I hate niggers. I am tired of niggers. Tired, tired, tired.

Niggers always want credit for some shit they're supposed to do. They'll brag about stuff a normal man just does. They'll say something like, “Yeah, well I take care of my kids.” You're supposed to, you dumb motherfucker. “I ain't never been to jail.” Whaddya want? A cookie? You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!"

See that? That's funny in a sort of bad way... it's also sort of true. There is always someone who fucks shit up for people that deserve the derogative term WAY more than those that traditionally do. In my town? 'Young low-expectation derelict emo motherfuckers' seem to be the ones to fit the description. I really hate my town sometimes... I really fucking do.

...

Maybe the Seagulls guy was wishing I wanted to bone him... yeah, that makes sense...

Damn 'faggot'... *cough* :|