The Lack Of Articles Article

Written by Lord Hart

For those wondering why I haven't done anything article wise for the site in a fair while, I'd like to write this long piece of exposition whilst answering little of what was asked... which is: why is Lord Hart a genius?

Wait... what do you mean that isn't what I'm writing about? Oh... a lack of articles. Okay, scratch that last paragraph. The honest truth came out in a recent post I made on the main page of the site, and that is, I don't have the internet on at my house to even get on the net to write anything.

Now, I know that is a bit of a lame excuse. I could just write something down and then upload it when I have the chance, but that's not me. I like to write things on the spur of the moment and then have it up on the net as soon as possible. That way, I know that it'll be done, will actually be up on the site as soon as it is done and I won't stop with it halfway through thinking to myself: "Well, I wrote a bit. I'll finish it later" and then never do any more.

It also lends credibility to my constant self-depreciation when I say I'm not a writer and that spelling mistakes may crop up and shit like that. When you have an article with no grammar problems or any spelling mistakes when you usually do have at least some, it makes the article something that you aren't... good. I don't like being good at things... except fucking. YEAH! *high fives nearest dude*

Um, yeah.

Enough with that bit of a rant. Now onto the next reason why I haven't written anything recently. Work. As I've said many times before, I'm a web-developer by trade, and I've recently been getting a bit of work. Mainly from people I know who are giving work to help me build up my portfolio, but work nonetheless. In the past couple of months I've done a site for a sports management firm, an electronics guy (who also happens to be the grandson of my favourite football teams founder) and most recently, a website for an artist which I'm actually supposed to be working on right now.

Along with the work I've been doing, I've also began to develop my PHP skills, putting my hand at trying to develop a content management system similar to Wordpress or even PHPBB. It's turning out well so far, and I've just recently gone through the entirety of it again, rewriting the thing from scratch and redesigning the whole look of it because I realised that the thing looked ugly as hell as it was. Now it's a bit more sleek looking and seems to be loading quicker too. Wooh!

I need to draw this article out a bit more, so I'll put in a few more reasons that sound plausible for you guys to read. One of them is SEX!

LOTS OF SEX... so much so that I'm having some now! Well... okay, I'm not... and I'm not having lots of it either. A bit. Okay, in reality, not all that much. Satisfied?! But I have to say that I've had much more sex in the last year than what I've had in previous years. Maybe the site was an expression of sexual repression? Maybe, but I'll never know because I was barely updating when I wasn't having it either, so what is the reason that I update in big spurts and then stop... hehe. I just wrote that line and then giggled like a little girl because it sounded dirty when I read it back in my mind.

Man, I'm just writing crap now. I think this is getting out of hand because I'm bored here at Mission Australia again… or maybe it's the fact that I haven't exactly gone to sleep yet, having been up an entire day now. Bloop bloop... beep beep.

Yep, it's spiralling down into the depths of insanity now. Doesn't help that some guy is wearing an incredibly bright yellow hat next to me. Wait... it isn't bright or yellow for that matter. For some reason, I just spotted it out of the corner of my eye wrong. It's grey! Holy shit I was off... wasn't I.

See what you get when I haven't really written anything for a while, I'm out of practise and now you get rubbish. It started off well with me writing and all, now it has just turned into some long ass thing where I'm writing absolute shit that no-one would want to keep reading. If you are still reading, then I'm sorry for doing this, I really am. I'll try to write something better starting the next paragraph, but that depends on when the next paragraph actually comes about. Oh my god, I'm getting in a silly mood. A tired silly mood. Next I'll probably... damnit. Hard-on.

*sigh*

I knew that was going to happen...

Update: This was supposed to be put on the site a while before the launch of the current blog system was added, as evidenced from the fact that I was still making and mentioned it in the article.

Since I wrote this during a time at Mission Australia, i've been arrested because I accidently opened a door, and a few other things have gone on. I won't go into detail, but let's just say that the article is finally up for you to read.

Another interesting note about this article is the fact that I wrote a version about a year or two ago, and never put that up on the site. I seemed to enjoy writing articles about not writing articles, which I don't end up putting on the site to explain why I haven't been writing articles...